Listening Meditation

Today we will be looking at another meditation that will aid in helping you relax and make your mind slow down. The mind in its normal state, is like a pond where mud is being churned up, it’s not clear and all the thoughts are mixed up. The mind is the pond and the thoughts are the mud. What we are aiming to do, is to stop the thoughts enough to allow the mud to settle to the bottom to allow you to see the true nature of the mind more clearly.

The meditation that we will be doing will be one that will seem easy to start with, but it will be hard at times, as the thoughts will get stronger and stronger as the mind doesn’t like to be clear as this is what it’s use to. The key thing is to not get upset or frustrated by the distracting thoughts. Just keep coming back to the focus object. After a while you will notice the amount of focused mind will grow and this will help your concentration levels in all that you do.

Ok now I will detail the meditation for you:

·         First, it’s important to make sure your motivation for doing the meditation is correct. Your motivation for this meditation should be that you want to clear your mind, and to a degree that you will be able to benefit your life. This will then enable you to help others to reach the same state of mind.

·         Sit down with your legs crossed or with your legs on the ground if you prefer a chair. Then ensure your back is straight, tilt your chin down about 45 degrees and place your palms right over left or just place them on your knees. This posture may feel uncomfortable the first few times, but over time it will be a posture you will want to be in all the time.

·         Now while in this posture, take 3 deep breaths and visualise all your muscles relaxing as you breathe out.

·         So now you need to close your eyes or keep them partly closed, while you do this, be aware of all the sounds around you. Regardless of all the sounds you hear they all have a right to be there, so just listen to them with an un-judging mind. Try not to think about anything, just listen for as long as it takes for a thought to pop up in your mind. You will notice while listening that your hearing will become stronger towards the object of your listening, this is normal, so don’t be alarmed.

·         When a thought comes up in your mind, just go back to listening to the sounds around you until again a thought comes up. Over time you will notice longer periods between thoughts arising.

·         When your meditation is done, make sure that you dedicate your merit to all sentient beings and to a positive cause of your choice.

·         The duration of your meditation should start off at about 5/10 minutes, and you can make it longer if this feels comfortable.

This meditation is very affective and should be used with the meditation in my previous post called My First Meditation. While I feel these meditations are affective, I still advise you to attend some kind of meditation class to allow you to get feedback on any possible obstacles you may face with your meditation. Speaking about this with someone face to face can make it really personal and aid your practise.

I hope this meditation is helpful and again if you have any questions drop me a line.

 

Looking at Anxiety

My good friend Laura has asked me to do a post on anxiety, so I will now explain how meditation or mindfulness can help to cope with this.

Firstly I want to say that I have suffered with bouts of anxiety from my mid teens, and it is one of the only major problems that I have suffered with, that has caused me to fall apart in a way that seems unimaginable. I am someone who enjoys putting my heart and soul into all that I do, including my work, so as you can imagine when something like anxiety causes me to fall apart, it feels like its ruining my life. However looking at it when the waters have calmed, I think it’s only right that I am compassionate to myself and taking a break from life, when it all gets too much is 100% justified.

I suffered with a very severe bout of anxiety many years ago and I saw my friend Laura (a long time anxiety sufferer). She tricked me, by distracting me, talking about something she knew I would enjoy talking about. After a while of talking with her and her friends she asked me how I felt.  I had completely forgot about what I was anxious about and it was then that It dawned on me, that I had some level of control over my anxiety.

Only a few months later I started doing a meditation class and I absolutely loved it, as sense of calm and somewhere to go to be quite was just what I needed. It taught me that I can control my mind through various meditation techniques. My battle with my anxiety is far from over, however it has helped me cope and control it to a very manageable degree.

By doing meditation or mindfulness training, you are teaching your mind to see and act more logically, and anxiety is far from logical in my eyes. Anxiety is the feeling we have when things are out of our control, when we desperately want it to be. Our mind tells us the worst possible case scenario, to the point where it can cause panic attacks and physical symptoms like inner heat or sweating. It often causes you to think so much about it, that you are not able to focus on anything else properly. It is strange as most of the time, there is nothing you can do about it. So we can clearly see it’s destructiveness.

Through meditation or mindfulness training, you will be able to let go of them crazy exaggerated thoughts, not suppressing them. It’s really hard to stop thinking about it when your mind has run through it lots, so being aware of your thoughts is the first step. While doing mediation you become more and more aware of your thoughts, both good and bad. After a while you will find the trigger thought that causes you to get upset or anxious and then you will be able to just let go if it (after some training). The reason you will be able to let go of it, is that you will understand that, that thought is pointless, as you cannot control what will happen. Your mind is well programmed to get you into an anxious state, so don’t expect it to see instant results, as your mind has taken a long time to program, so as you can imagine, it may take a while to re-program your mind. I do feel that the more you put into your meditations or mindfulness training, the more you will get out, so it is very hard to give a time scale about when you will see results.  This said, I do feel that you will find some benefit to your well being from ether mediation or mindfulness training from the start.

I hope this post isn’t too long, if you have any questions again drop me a line and I’ll be happy to help.

My apologies if this sound similar to my anger post, it's just the two are very closely linked.

The Four Opponent Powers

While doing your meditations, there is the option to do a daily self analysis, which is called the four opponent powers. I have practised this with sincerity and dedication and I can honestly say that the results where instant.

I will explain the main contemplations for this practise. It is worth noting that this can be done at any time of the day, but for best results it is best done in the evening or before bed every day, for a set period of time.

The practise can be remembered as the four R's, I will explain these below:

· Regret: To start with, think of what you have done that you regret doing during that day. It is important to note that we are not using this to make our self feel bad in an "I'm a bad person" kind of way. We are all human and we all do and think negative things, we are merely trying to find them in this exercise. Now in your mind remember these things, for example; One could be, that you may have talked about a friend behind their back or upset someone during the day.

· Reliance: This takes the form of whoever you rely on, this could be Buddha, God, Gods or someone you look up to or did look up too. This exercise is to request refuge in them and to ask them for strength. I guess this is seeing someone we feel has good morals and trying to soak up their goodness.

· Remedy: In this you will visualise being blessed or forgiven for the list of negative actions of the day. Seeing the person, God or Gods and seeing them passing their goodness to you or noticing that you have this good quality in yourself, you should try to bask in this goodness and feel the positive energy.

· Resolve: After feeling the goodness and positive energy, you now make a realistic resolve to stop doing these negative or bad actions for a realistic length of time. It will only make you feel bad if you make unrealistic goals, so make sure you are able to do them. You can always lengthen or shorten the time period for your resolve to suit. If your resolve is strong, you will actively stop doing that thing and after a while you will find that you have reprogrammed that negative trait in you and this will give you great joy.

This practise alone is extremely powerful, if done with real sincerity, and can help you to stop doing negative actions, but sometimes it takes a long time to re-program them negative traits to something positive, but the small goals will grow and eventually you will stop doing that negative thing altogether.

I am summarising this practise in this blog to give you a taste, but for further reading this can be found online or in a book called "How to Meditate: A Practical Guide" by Kathleen McDonald.

Also if you are aware of the eight fold path, you can use this practise with the eight fold path.

Thank you for your time, if you have any questions please drop me a line.

 

Obstacles To Practise

While meditation is a wonderful thing and brings many benefits, there are some obstacles that arise that often cause people to ether stop their practise or even not to start meditation at all. I will explain some of these obstacles or myths, in the hope of allowing more people to start meditation or to overcome obstacles to aid their practise.

One of the myths about meditation, is that you need to be able to concentrate lots. I have spoken with some lovely people who believe that they cannot meditate due to suffering from over active minds caused by anxiety, depression or phobias. I believe that these conditions are heightened senses that cause us suffering and meditation can indeed help with these. You see, concentration during meditation is one of the key things you are aiming to improve so as long as you are able to concentrate just a tiny little bit, you are able to improve this. So start small with your meditation and build on what you have.

One of the other things that people suffer with during meditation is sleepiness or drowsiness, this happens to a lot of meditation practitioners. There are some remedies to this obstacle.

• First try to meditate with your eyes slightly open. This may be a little uncomfortable to start with but you will get use to it and this should keep you more alert during your meditation.
• Try to keep your back straight during your meditation as this will keep you more alert. Lying down or having your legs up will make you more prone to falling asleep.
•  Often people feel that where they meditate needs to be dimly lit to allow calmness of mind, however this can cause you to feel sleepy or drowsy, so try making the room as bright as possible as this will make you more alert before and during the meditation.

When people first start doing meditation they often stop as they feel that it is not doing anything or is making them feel worse. The reason for this, is due to the fact that you are finally taking the time to see your mind, and this raises your awareness to how crazy the mind really is. Jumping from one subject to the other, all day, every day, with no real break. So being aware of this more, is bound to make you feel that you’re going backwards, however this is completely normal and is a sign that you are progressing well. Once you become more aware of your thoughts you will then be able to start controlling your thoughts. The most important thing with your mediation practise is to keep going and not to let any kind of obstacle upset you as this will hinder your progression. If you feel that your mind is drifting from the subject of mediation a lot, just calmly keep bringing the mind back to the subject. Understand that your mind has been programmed for many years to keep jumping from object to object, so getting your mind to stay on one subject will take a lot of determination and hard work, but the results are so worth it.

 

Looking at Anger

Anger is something that we all experience, some on a daily basis and others less frequent or more frequently. Anger is something that was a very large part of my life, till I started meditating and going to Buddhist teachings.While looking and analysing anger through mediation and other means, It dawned on me how completely avoidable anger is. Don't get me wrong I'm far from anger free, however, I have more control over my anger now than I use to that's for sure.
I will use a few examples to explain how we get angry and how pointless they are upon reflection.

Example one; You are in the car and a driver cuts you up or drives in a way that is not safe.
Your first reaction is one of fear, as you feel that this person could have caused your passengers and you to be harmed in some way. This fear quickly turns to anger in what feels like a millisecond.
So far all seems normal to us, however I will explain an alternative way of looking at this situation.
First of all by getting angry you will not change what has happened as it has already come to pass. Secondly you will lose all sense of control while in the tense state of anger and this may lead to excessive driving or even to an accident. Thirdly the driver may have made a mistake or even been trying to avoid another possible accident, however, we instantly assume they did this act deliberately towards us and this may not be the case at all.
When this example has happens to me, I have trained my mind to remain more in control and to ignore or let go of my anger regarding what has happened for the three main reasons above. To get angry is equally as destructive as the thing that has happened to cause the anger in the first place.

Example two; You are going to a job interview and your train has been delayed, meaning you will be late to your interview.
Your reaction is instant annoyance as we are not getting what we want, this can get you very angry and cause you to shout at staff about the problem and how it will affect you.
This seems to be a normal thing, however, before you feel angry your main feeling is that you will look bad and possibly wont get the job as a result of this one problem.
While this may be true, there is nothing you can do about the problem and it doesn't make any sence to upset others by shouting at them about the problem. What you should do is channel that energy to something positive like trying to stay anger free.
On analysis you will note that there is nothing you can do about the train being late, and no matter how annoying this may be, you must let go of the annoyance this causes as you cannot control everything around you. Understand that you intended to arrive on time and there is a problem, that could happen to anyone. There may even be people in the same boat as you, regarding the delayed train you are waiting for.
Simply call up and explain to the company interviewing you, that you will be late and that it was due to the delayed train. Let the people at the company decide whether they believe you or not, as this is out of your parameters of control. The main thing is that you intended to arrive on time, but were met by an obstacle that were out of your control. When these things happen, you can stay calm and do the best you can at the interview, even if you arrive late.

It sounds very easy to stay calm when you hear others talk about these things, and I was one of the those people who would always say "its easier said than done" and wouldn't even try to tackle the problem. However when you practise meditation and you are more aware of your thoughts, you see your thoughts and are able to channel how that thought controls you. After a while these anger patterns turn to calm patterns as if you have re programmed yourself.
For example: Over a week ago a guy cut me up and nearly took off my bumper and it didn't affect me at all, it was as if nothing had happened. It was so surreal, as upon analysing it I noticed that nothing had happened and both me and the other driver were safe. So really as nothing had happened, why would I make myself feel ill by getting angry and shouting at a car that cannot hear me. It seemed so senseless to me to get angry about something that didn't even happen.

I hope that this post has some positive affect on you, and if you have any questions or comments I'm happy to answer them to the best of my limited knowledge.

    

The Gift of Merit

When doing meditation, no matter how long or short the session is, you are generating merit or positive energy.
You can use this merit and dedicate it to anything or anyone, provided it's positive.
In my practise at the end of every meditation, I dedicate my positive energy to all the sentient beings and I will chose something personal to me too. In the past I have dedicated my merit to help improve my practise, help a sick friend or to have a question answered.
When you develop a strong mediation practise this will become something you do and become familiar with. I feel, the more sincere your dedication the more affect it will have.
If you do not feel that you generate merit through meditation, then its fine to just ignore this post and continue with your practise. However you could give it a go and see what happens, as there is no real harm in it, but if you feel strongly against it then it would not be advisable.

Thank you again for your time, I hope this helps you in any way it can.

 

Buddhism: Where To Begin

If your interested in Buddhism, but don't know where to start, or have been reading lots of stuff about Buddhism, but have no idea where to begin, then you will be happy to know, that for a long time I was the same way too.
For 8 years I had read lots of books about different teaching and meditations, and practiced a great deal. I had also been to lots of different teachings, and retreats too. However after my 8 year searching, I still did not feel that I had a good foundation, on which to move forward with my practice, until recently when I found my beginning, after settling down and choosing a Buddhist Center. This has inspired me to write this post.

I guess the best place to start would be to have some kind of understanding of the person who started Buddhism, Buddha Gautama or Prince Siddhartha. I feel that the story is that accessible, that you will be able to find it ether online, or in a book somewhere, plus I don't want to take that special moment away from you, by summarising the lovely story, here on my post.

Buddha gave his first sermon or teaching in Deer Park, what is now Sarnath, India near Varanasi.
He taught what is known now, as the Four Noble Truths and the 4th truth being the 8 Fold Path.
I would say that these teachings are the foundation or starting place of any person interested in Buddhism. Again there are a number of sources that you can access, be it online at your local library.

Sarnath, India

Once you have become familiar with the details above, and feel you would like to explore this more, I would advise you to contact your local Buddhist center, and or, explore other centers until you feel comfortable with one, as there are a number of different types of Buddhism.
The reason for this, is that the main disciples of the Buddha traveled and spread his teachings, and they developed different styles. So you have Tibetan Buddhsim, Zen Buddhism, Theravada Buddhism etc. With this in mind, it is worth stating, that while the assortment of traditions may seem very different, they all have the same core teachings, that the Buddha taught.
When you feel comfortable with your chosen center, you will then be able to get guidance, of where to start and how to progress on the path to enlightenment, from your teacher at the center.

From my own personal experience, trying to do it alone, lead me to read books and teachings, that where to advanced for my practice, and distracted me from the foundation work that was required.
I guess the problem with reading books about different teaching, is that they never state what level the person should be before doing a set practice, so you can feel that you are moving along quite well alone, when in fact you are lacking the foundation skill that give them advanced teachings there potency.

I hope this is of some help.

Thanks again for your time and If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

The Power Of Retreat

Retreats are a great way to advance your understanding of a set teaching and/or meditation practise. By dedicating certain periods of time to practise can seem like overkill, but the feeling of calmness and level of understanding experienced during these times may be very profound.
You can do organised retreats or do a solo retreat for varying lengths of time. Both are great ways to learn and deepen your practise.
If you want to do organised retreats you can find may different retreats online, at different price ranges and to suit different abilities. The last thing you want to do is turn up to a retreat that is for advanced meditators and try to meditate for hours at a time, when your only use to doing your practise for 15 minutes 3 times a week.
Doing a solo retreat involves more planning, but the seclusion can be a great way to keep yourself from distractions and give you time to really let the teachings and meditations set in (Please note that there are some solo organised retreats available online). However one of the main benefits of doing the solo retreat and planning it yourself, can be the level of control you have over the subject you chose to do the retreat on.

I try to do a solo retreat once every 2 to 3 months depending if I'm busy or not.
Here is how I plan my solo retreat:

• First I decide the length of my retreat, often a weekend or long weekend suits me more.
• Next I chose my location, I have found a log cabin out in the sticks that allows me to cook and be left alone at a reasonable price.
• Next I chose my subject, this is one of the most important and exciting parts. Its best not to chose subjects that are to complex to start with. If you are following a certain lineage or teacher seek advice about what subject to do. Even if you don't have a teacher, you can e-mail a local meditation centre and ask for advise. 
• Finally you set the structure of the meditation. To maximise the day try to start early say 6:30 or 7am, but its up to you. Then set out how you would like to do the retreat. Then go and do it! Here is how I plan my structure:

         6:30am - 7am Breakfast
         7am - 10 Meditation followed by online teaching (Found before retreat) and subject reading.
         10am -10:30am Take a break (try not to do anything to distracting)
         11am -1pm Meditation followed by online teaching and subject reading.
         1pm - 2:30 Have lunch and relax and try to let the subject mater from the morning sink in.
         2:30 - 4pm Meditation followed by online teaching and subject reading.
         4pm - 4:30pm Take a break
         4:30 - 6:30pm Meditation followed by online teaching and subject reading.
         6:30pm - 7:30 Have diner and relax
         7:30 - 9pm Meditation followed by online teaching and subject reading.
         9pm - 9:30pm relax before bed
         9:30 Time for bed and some much needed rest.

Ultimately this is how I structure my solo retreat, and as you can see, I try to get as much out of that time as I can. In order to get a better idea of retreat structures, you can also check out organised retreats and try and mimic them if you like. What I love the most about doing my solo retreat, is tailoring it to suit me and I would advise you to do the same. Some people might want to do yoga and or other practises too, while others may wish to do less.
The structure above may seem hectic to look at, but when you are doing it, its not to much really, and when you come away, you feel great, refreshed and relaxed.

Please note that if you suffer with any kind of depression, anxiety or any other kind of mental health issues it would be worth consulting your GP and Teacher prior to doing a solo retreat as a precaution.

Again thank you for your time and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.   

 

  

My First Meditation

When getting into meditation I attended a class at a local school, the class was very well structured and the meditation was effective enough to make me want to go back.

So I would like to share with you the basic breathing meditation, as taught to me over 5 years ago.

• To start with it’s a great idea to find a location that is visually clean and tidy as well as quiet, as this will distil in you a sense of calm.
• Then about 5 minutes before doing your meditation, have a nice sit down and just sit in silence and try to just listen to the sounds around you and relax. The reason I say this, is that if you are doing something hectic and you try to do a meditation sitting, you will find it very hard to settle.
• Then sit cross legged (on a cushion allowing your bum to be higher than your knees) or on a chair whatever is most comfortable for you. The most important thing is to keep you back straight to allow you to stay alert to stop you falling asleep, but not too tight that its uncomfortable. Then allow your head to drop slightly so that your gaze is down about 45 degrees to the floor in front of you. Then place your hands one on top of the other or just rest them on your knees whatever feels most comfortable to you. When doing this posture for the first few times, it may feel a little uncomfortable but rest assured you will soon love this posture and the pain will go away.
• This part is all about relaxing the body. I use a three breath relaxation, where I take a deep breaths in and slowly exhale all my breath out, and as I breath out I imagine all the muscles in my body relaxing. After doing this three times I feel really relaxed and ready to start my meditation.
• When starting to do this meditation instead of calming the mind it seems as if your mind is becoming more out of control. This you will be happy to hear is perfectly normal and is a sign that you are becoming more aware of your mind, and how hectic it is, it’s just that we never take time to see how crazy our monkey mind really is.
• Now we begin the meditation itself. While in your relaxed meditation posture, you can keep your eyes closed, or slightly open, again whatever is most comfortable for you. Then bring your attention to the breath and the sensation it gives to your nose as the cold air passes through your nose and the warm air coming out as you exhale. Try to hold your attention on this as long as possible without distraction. Our minds are untamed and we will drift off and think about all sorts of things while in meditation, this is normal. Try to stay calm and not get angry when you realise you have drifted off and simply say in your mind "I have drifted and must go back to focus on the breath" and go back to the breath. If you allow yourself to get angry or frustrated when you have drifted, it can make the drifting worse. Please understand that every mediator has drifted off and even experienced mediators now drift off from time to time. You will notice over time that your length of time being focused on this object (the breath) will get longer, and you will also become more aware of the distracting thoughts before they have happened. Later you will be able to just acknowledge distracting thoughts, but not engage with them. When starting out doing these mediations its best to start by doing five to ten minute sessions as this will give the best results, as you become more and more comfortable, try to do fifteen or twenty minutes.
• After the session is over, there should be a sense of calm in your mind and body as you have calmed the mind. If you have not found it calming please don’t give up, but keep going and you will find that in time you will find this sense of calm. It has been explained to me that meditation is like going to the gym, the first few times you go its hard work and you may ache, but after a few times you start to feel good and enjoy the feeling of a good workout, however this is a mind workout. I feel that this can sometimes be the case.

I hope you enjoy your meditation experience and if you have any questions please don’t hesitate to contact me. Happy meditating!

 

 

Why should we make time to meditate

In today's modern and hectic society, more and more people are getting stressed, anxious, angry and depressed about a number of things from isolated incidence to long ongoing problems.

Meditation or mindfulness training can help you to become relaxed, calm and more aware of your thoughts. Most of all, it is a technique that has been used for thousands of years to control the mind and deal with thoughts. By doing meditation you are allowing yourself to look deeper at your thoughts and by doing specific meditations you will be able to harness this crazy out of control monkey mind.

For example, when we look at anger in meditation, we see that not only does anger cause us mental discomfort but it also causes us to develop physical problems like raised blood pressure, our body gets hot and sweaty and in extreme cases can cause heart attacks. So we can clearly see that we are causing our own problems and suffering by allowing ourselves to get angry. Often anger starts out as a small problem, then we allow our mind to go over and over it, till like a Catherine wheel it’s out of control and extremely hard to stop. When this happens you have to just ride it out till there is no fuel left.
So we can clearly see that anger really hold no purpose, other than to cause us mental and physical problems, so what is the remedy?

Well by doing meditation or mindfulness training, you will be able to notice your thought patterns more than you would normally, and this will allow you to control whether you get angry or not. As most of the time anger is an instant reaction and we are not aware of how much of a hold anger has till it’s out of control. But meditation or mindfulness training allows you to see it at the very start when anger is easier to control, and like a fire put out if you so desire.

Often when talking about anger, people always say that suppressing anger can cause more problems such as cancer in extreme cases, and this is true. However when you truly understand that anger has no purpose and only servers to make you mentally and physically unwell then the anger is much easier to let go of, as if we suppress the anger and believe it, this is where I feel the problems start. This can seem like a hard concept to understand, but for me it has worked and I’m sure it can help you too.

Meditation can help with a number of problems and can help you reach levels of relaxation that are now scientifically proven. Scientist have done extensive research on long term mediators. They say that parts of the brain that control positive happy thoughts are larger than average, while the parts of the brain associated with negative thoughts are almost nonexistent in long term meditators.

I feel that by doing meditation regularly like these long term meditators we can all become more happy content people.
To me it makes sense to take some time out of our hectic lives to stop and take care of ourselves to cultivated loving kindness and happiness. As let’s face it, there aren’t many people out there that don’t like people being kind to them. 

Meditation doesn't have to associated with an organised religion, it can thus be used as a way to lean to relax and control the mind more. 

Thanks for your time and if you have any questions then don’t hesitate to drop me a line.