Progress & Ego

When you are seeing progression in your meditations and have started to lengthen the sitting periods, you will start to do analytical meditations on a number of subjects. These can be Karma, Precious Human Life, Death and Impermanence etc. These meditations should be done and contemplated regularly to the point that you do not just think about them, but feel them in your heart. You will know when you feel them, as your level of devotion will increase.

By doing these meditations, you may start to see progress in the way you see life and many other traits you had previously. You may have deep periods of insight in your meditations that cannot even be described. This can be very inspiring and you will want to shout from the rooftops about this, however, one needs to be aware of ego at such times, as at any given moment it will use this progress to make you feel more superior to others. These kinds of thoughts are ultimately against every part of what you are seeking, but they can be very subtle. Rejoice in these moments of progress and allow them to keep you moving forward in what is ultimately the right direction, just be aware of the ego wanting to use these small steps on the quest for liberation to bring you back down.
Stay with your course of meditations and keep marching on as every little step allows you one step closer to knowing yourself.

 

Compassion Part 1

Compassion is something used in Buddhism an awful lot, however it is aimed mainly at others, and I will cover this in part 2.
In today's post we will be looking at compassion towards ones self.
How often do we think positively about ourselves. For me and I'm sure many others, we are programmed to think about what we have done wrong, and over the years this leads to negative thoughts that make us feel, at times, that we are bad people, when really nothing could be further from the truth. By thinking this way we are positively reinforcing them negative thought and in some cases can push us towards further negative tendencies.
When I was young, if you were seen to be thinking about your own well being it was considered selfish and I guess this was meant to allow you to grow as a person and develop qualities such as sharing and other great qualities that develop good relationships with others, but what we fail to have learn is to be compassionate to ourselves equally. I will give an example this:

We live in a very busy and hectic society and work an awful lot, this can cause high levels of stress at times. When you leave your place of work you feel somewhat free and able to relax.
Sometimes though, life outside of work can get equally as stressful and you are faced with what feels like a wall of stress, and there is only so much your body can take before you start to get physical symptoms of stress. You see your doctor and he feels that you need to take time off work and he signs you off. So you feel bad, as your letting your team mates down and causing them more stress, you may also feel that people think that you are just blowing stuff out of proportion and are just wanting to take time off.
What we often forget, is that we need to cut ourselves a break, we need to look after ourselves and that is 100% OK. People at work in reality are wishing you well and hoping that you feel better soon, for your own benefit. But we give ourselves a hard time all the time and we really need to stop this as it is very destructive. We are great people and yes we make mistakes and often do silly things but this does not define us. From time to time when I feel a little down or feeling sorry for myself I say the below mantra to myself to make me feel my life is meaningful.

"You are a good person, you care about others and you are just seeking happiness for all"

When I say this to myself, I say it with meaning and it really does make me feel better, why not give it a try. Write your own mantra that has real meaning to you.

To love others, you must first learn to love yourself

        

Listening Meditation

Today we will be looking at another meditation that will aid in helping you relax and make your mind slow down. The mind in its normal state, is like a pond where mud is being churned up, it’s not clear and all the thoughts are mixed up. The mind is the pond and the thoughts are the mud. What we are aiming to do, is to stop the thoughts enough to allow the mud to settle to the bottom to allow you to see the true nature of the mind more clearly.

The meditation that we will be doing will be one that will seem easy to start with, but it will be hard at times, as the thoughts will get stronger and stronger as the mind doesn’t like to be clear as this is what it’s use to. The key thing is to not get upset or frustrated by the distracting thoughts. Just keep coming back to the focus object. After a while you will notice the amount of focused mind will grow and this will help your concentration levels in all that you do.

Ok now I will detail the meditation for you:

·         First, it’s important to make sure your motivation for doing the meditation is correct. Your motivation for this meditation should be that you want to clear your mind, and to a degree that you will be able to benefit your life. This will then enable you to help others to reach the same state of mind.

·         Sit down with your legs crossed or with your legs on the ground if you prefer a chair. Then ensure your back is straight, tilt your chin down about 45 degrees and place your palms right over left or just place them on your knees. This posture may feel uncomfortable the first few times, but over time it will be a posture you will want to be in all the time.

·         Now while in this posture, take 3 deep breaths and visualise all your muscles relaxing as you breathe out.

·         So now you need to close your eyes or keep them partly closed, while you do this, be aware of all the sounds around you. Regardless of all the sounds you hear they all have a right to be there, so just listen to them with an un-judging mind. Try not to think about anything, just listen for as long as it takes for a thought to pop up in your mind. You will notice while listening that your hearing will become stronger towards the object of your listening, this is normal, so don’t be alarmed.

·         When a thought comes up in your mind, just go back to listening to the sounds around you until again a thought comes up. Over time you will notice longer periods between thoughts arising.

·         When your meditation is done, make sure that you dedicate your merit to all sentient beings and to a positive cause of your choice.

·         The duration of your meditation should start off at about 5/10 minutes, and you can make it longer if this feels comfortable.

This meditation is very affective and should be used with the meditation in my previous post called My First Meditation. While I feel these meditations are affective, I still advise you to attend some kind of meditation class to allow you to get feedback on any possible obstacles you may face with your meditation. Speaking about this with someone face to face can make it really personal and aid your practise.

I hope this meditation is helpful and again if you have any questions drop me a line.

 

Looking at Anxiety

My good friend Laura has asked me to do a post on anxiety, so I will now explain how meditation or mindfulness can help to cope with this.

Firstly I want to say that I have suffered with bouts of anxiety from my mid teens, and it is one of the only major problems that I have suffered with, that has caused me to fall apart in a way that seems unimaginable. I am someone who enjoys putting my heart and soul into all that I do, including my work, so as you can imagine when something like anxiety causes me to fall apart, it feels like its ruining my life. However looking at it when the waters have calmed, I think it’s only right that I am compassionate to myself and taking a break from life, when it all gets too much is 100% justified.

I suffered with a very severe bout of anxiety many years ago and I saw my friend Laura (a long time anxiety sufferer). She tricked me, by distracting me, talking about something she knew I would enjoy talking about. After a while of talking with her and her friends she asked me how I felt.  I had completely forgot about what I was anxious about and it was then that It dawned on me, that I had some level of control over my anxiety.

Only a few months later I started doing a meditation class and I absolutely loved it, as sense of calm and somewhere to go to be quite was just what I needed. It taught me that I can control my mind through various meditation techniques. My battle with my anxiety is far from over, however it has helped me cope and control it to a very manageable degree.

By doing meditation or mindfulness training, you are teaching your mind to see and act more logically, and anxiety is far from logical in my eyes. Anxiety is the feeling we have when things are out of our control, when we desperately want it to be. Our mind tells us the worst possible case scenario, to the point where it can cause panic attacks and physical symptoms like inner heat or sweating. It often causes you to think so much about it, that you are not able to focus on anything else properly. It is strange as most of the time, there is nothing you can do about it. So we can clearly see it’s destructiveness.

Through meditation or mindfulness training, you will be able to let go of them crazy exaggerated thoughts, not suppressing them. It’s really hard to stop thinking about it when your mind has run through it lots, so being aware of your thoughts is the first step. While doing mediation you become more and more aware of your thoughts, both good and bad. After a while you will find the trigger thought that causes you to get upset or anxious and then you will be able to just let go if it (after some training). The reason you will be able to let go of it, is that you will understand that, that thought is pointless, as you cannot control what will happen. Your mind is well programmed to get you into an anxious state, so don’t expect it to see instant results, as your mind has taken a long time to program, so as you can imagine, it may take a while to re-program your mind. I do feel that the more you put into your meditations or mindfulness training, the more you will get out, so it is very hard to give a time scale about when you will see results.  This said, I do feel that you will find some benefit to your well being from ether mediation or mindfulness training from the start.

I hope this post isn’t too long, if you have any questions again drop me a line and I’ll be happy to help.

My apologies if this sound similar to my anger post, it's just the two are very closely linked.

The Four Opponent Powers

While doing your meditations, there is the option to do a daily self analysis, which is called the four opponent powers. I have practised this with sincerity and dedication and I can honestly say that the results where instant.

I will explain the main contemplations for this practise. It is worth noting that this can be done at any time of the day, but for best results it is best done in the evening or before bed every day, for a set period of time.

The practise can be remembered as the four R's, I will explain these below:

· Regret: To start with, think of what you have done that you regret doing during that day. It is important to note that we are not using this to make our self feel bad in an "I'm a bad person" kind of way. We are all human and we all do and think negative things, we are merely trying to find them in this exercise. Now in your mind remember these things, for example; One could be, that you may have talked about a friend behind their back or upset someone during the day.

· Reliance: This takes the form of whoever you rely on, this could be Buddha, God, Gods or someone you look up to or did look up too. This exercise is to request refuge in them and to ask them for strength. I guess this is seeing someone we feel has good morals and trying to soak up their goodness.

· Remedy: In this you will visualise being blessed or forgiven for the list of negative actions of the day. Seeing the person, God or Gods and seeing them passing their goodness to you or noticing that you have this good quality in yourself, you should try to bask in this goodness and feel the positive energy.

· Resolve: After feeling the goodness and positive energy, you now make a realistic resolve to stop doing these negative or bad actions for a realistic length of time. It will only make you feel bad if you make unrealistic goals, so make sure you are able to do them. You can always lengthen or shorten the time period for your resolve to suit. If your resolve is strong, you will actively stop doing that thing and after a while you will find that you have reprogrammed that negative trait in you and this will give you great joy.

This practise alone is extremely powerful, if done with real sincerity, and can help you to stop doing negative actions, but sometimes it takes a long time to re-program them negative traits to something positive, but the small goals will grow and eventually you will stop doing that negative thing altogether.

I am summarising this practise in this blog to give you a taste, but for further reading this can be found online or in a book called "How to Meditate: A Practical Guide" by Kathleen McDonald.

Also if you are aware of the eight fold path, you can use this practise with the eight fold path.

Thank you for your time, if you have any questions please drop me a line.

 

Obstacles To Practise

While meditation is a wonderful thing and brings many benefits, there are some obstacles that arise that often cause people to ether stop their practise or even not to start meditation at all. I will explain some of these obstacles or myths, in the hope of allowing more people to start meditation or to overcome obstacles to aid their practise.

One of the myths about meditation, is that you need to be able to concentrate lots. I have spoken with some lovely people who believe that they cannot meditate due to suffering from over active minds caused by anxiety, depression or phobias. I believe that these conditions are heightened senses that cause us suffering and meditation can indeed help with these. You see, concentration during meditation is one of the key things you are aiming to improve so as long as you are able to concentrate just a tiny little bit, you are able to improve this. So start small with your meditation and build on what you have.

One of the other things that people suffer with during meditation is sleepiness or drowsiness, this happens to a lot of meditation practitioners. There are some remedies to this obstacle.

• First try to meditate with your eyes slightly open. This may be a little uncomfortable to start with but you will get use to it and this should keep you more alert during your meditation.
• Try to keep your back straight during your meditation as this will keep you more alert. Lying down or having your legs up will make you more prone to falling asleep.
•  Often people feel that where they meditate needs to be dimly lit to allow calmness of mind, however this can cause you to feel sleepy or drowsy, so try making the room as bright as possible as this will make you more alert before and during the meditation.

When people first start doing meditation they often stop as they feel that it is not doing anything or is making them feel worse. The reason for this, is due to the fact that you are finally taking the time to see your mind, and this raises your awareness to how crazy the mind really is. Jumping from one subject to the other, all day, every day, with no real break. So being aware of this more, is bound to make you feel that you’re going backwards, however this is completely normal and is a sign that you are progressing well. Once you become more aware of your thoughts you will then be able to start controlling your thoughts. The most important thing with your mediation practise is to keep going and not to let any kind of obstacle upset you as this will hinder your progression. If you feel that your mind is drifting from the subject of mediation a lot, just calmly keep bringing the mind back to the subject. Understand that your mind has been programmed for many years to keep jumping from object to object, so getting your mind to stay on one subject will take a lot of determination and hard work, but the results are so worth it.

 

Looking at Anger

Anger is something that we all experience, some on a daily basis and others less frequent or more frequently. Anger is something that was a very large part of my life, till I started meditating and going to Buddhist teachings.While looking and analysing anger through mediation and other means, It dawned on me how completely avoidable anger is. Don't get me wrong I'm far from anger free, however, I have more control over my anger now than I use to that's for sure.
I will use a few examples to explain how we get angry and how pointless they are upon reflection.

Example one; You are in the car and a driver cuts you up or drives in a way that is not safe.
Your first reaction is one of fear, as you feel that this person could have caused your passengers and you to be harmed in some way. This fear quickly turns to anger in what feels like a millisecond.
So far all seems normal to us, however I will explain an alternative way of looking at this situation.
First of all by getting angry you will not change what has happened as it has already come to pass. Secondly you will lose all sense of control while in the tense state of anger and this may lead to excessive driving or even to an accident. Thirdly the driver may have made a mistake or even been trying to avoid another possible accident, however, we instantly assume they did this act deliberately towards us and this may not be the case at all.
When this example has happens to me, I have trained my mind to remain more in control and to ignore or let go of my anger regarding what has happened for the three main reasons above. To get angry is equally as destructive as the thing that has happened to cause the anger in the first place.

Example two; You are going to a job interview and your train has been delayed, meaning you will be late to your interview.
Your reaction is instant annoyance as we are not getting what we want, this can get you very angry and cause you to shout at staff about the problem and how it will affect you.
This seems to be a normal thing, however, before you feel angry your main feeling is that you will look bad and possibly wont get the job as a result of this one problem.
While this may be true, there is nothing you can do about the problem and it doesn't make any sence to upset others by shouting at them about the problem. What you should do is channel that energy to something positive like trying to stay anger free.
On analysis you will note that there is nothing you can do about the train being late, and no matter how annoying this may be, you must let go of the annoyance this causes as you cannot control everything around you. Understand that you intended to arrive on time and there is a problem, that could happen to anyone. There may even be people in the same boat as you, regarding the delayed train you are waiting for.
Simply call up and explain to the company interviewing you, that you will be late and that it was due to the delayed train. Let the people at the company decide whether they believe you or not, as this is out of your parameters of control. The main thing is that you intended to arrive on time, but were met by an obstacle that were out of your control. When these things happen, you can stay calm and do the best you can at the interview, even if you arrive late.

It sounds very easy to stay calm when you hear others talk about these things, and I was one of the those people who would always say "its easier said than done" and wouldn't even try to tackle the problem. However when you practise meditation and you are more aware of your thoughts, you see your thoughts and are able to channel how that thought controls you. After a while these anger patterns turn to calm patterns as if you have re programmed yourself.
For example: Over a week ago a guy cut me up and nearly took off my bumper and it didn't affect me at all, it was as if nothing had happened. It was so surreal, as upon analysing it I noticed that nothing had happened and both me and the other driver were safe. So really as nothing had happened, why would I make myself feel ill by getting angry and shouting at a car that cannot hear me. It seemed so senseless to me to get angry about something that didn't even happen.

I hope that this post has some positive affect on you, and if you have any questions or comments I'm happy to answer them to the best of my limited knowledge.